Come on, we’ve all had one of those days.
But we tend to lie to ourselves, and others, when they ask:
‘So how are you?’ they ask.
‘I’m fine, how about you?’ you reply, even though it’s a total lie.
So why do we do it:
- To save ourselves the trouble of having to explain.
- To save the other person the earache of listening to our problems.
- Or just because it’s easier not to tell the truth.
Maybe we’re our own worst enemy sometimes:
- What’s the issue holding us back.
- Why can’t we just tell them how our day’s going.
- Maybe, they could help with the problem we’re facing.
So let’s change the scenario to:
‘So, how are you?’ Someone asks.
‘Not too good, I’m having this problem with – a piece of writing.’
‘Not too bad, but things could be better.’ You reply.
The person who’s asking might surprise you and genuinely does want to hear. So, how do you know if you don’t try.
If they’re not interested and you notice the tell-tale signs:
- The brush off – oh dear, well I’ve been… – The, ‘I’m not interested in your problems’ attitude.
- The sideways glance. The, ‘I’m listening but who cares’ attitude.
- The gentle upward tilt of their eyes. The, ‘Oh my god here we go again’ attitude.
- The total blank – they carry on and ignore you. The, ‘So what, we all have problems’ attitude.
I’ve had each of those happen to me on many occasions.
Rude – yes.
Acceptable – no.
The way I see it, if they feel the need to ask, then they should be decent enough to listen in response.
However, many a time I’ve let it slide, with neither the energy, or inclination to correct them. Instead, I simply return the favour.
Understandable – yes.
Petty – probably.
But hey! It makes me feel better.
Now, I only tend to answer to those willing to listen, otherwise, what’s the point.